As estate planning attorneys, we witness a lot of family conflict. Of course, none of us want to even think that our children or other beneficiaries would fight over our assets — or over who should be in charge — when we are no longer here. Second marriages and blended families significantly increase the likelihood of conflict. Accordingly, here are four things we have learned that minimize the likelihood of family conflict after our demise.
1. Full disclosure. Death and money are not fun subjects to bring up over dinner, yet families who make time for that awkward chat now can spare deep regrets and potentially millions in lost dollars. It is important for heirs to hear—when all those involved can still sit at the table—why things have been put in place a certain way. Having an open dialogue about who is going to be in charge, and why, so there are no surprises when you are no longer here — at a time when your loved ones are already going to be upset and under stress.
2. Do not count on a new spouse to take care of your biological children. Meet with an attorney and create a proper estate plan. Spending a few thousand dollars now may save your family hundreds of thousands (or millions) later. Set up a trust, title retirement accounts properly, and implement asset protection strategies to ensure your biological children end up with your hard-earned assets.
3. Don’t overlook health care planning. Many families avoid a discussion about health care until a life event makes it urgent and even more stressful, and few things lead to a fight between siblings faster than a disagreement over how to care for Mom or Dad. Ensure you (a) clarify your end-of-life planning and wishes in a living will and (b) designate a health care representative to communicate with medical professionals on your behalf. This representative may be your current spouse, your oldest child, your geographically closest relative, or another trusted individual, etc.
4. Give while alive. Remember that your estate – and the assets in it – are yours. Use them for your benefit. Giving while living is an excellent way for an older generation to share assets with loved ones while everyone can enjoy them. Many of our clients gift into education accounts, or spend money taking their children and grandchildren on family vacations. This is an excellent way to enjoy your family while also accomplishing estate planning objectives such as minimizing potential estate taxes and treating your beneficiaries fairly.
If you have questions about how to avoid conflict within your family, or any other matters related to business or estate planning, contact Fournier Legal Services to learn more.